For the love of all that is holy, please don’t shout “Hello?” into a dark hallway.
First of all, the group of friends consists of exactly who you think it would: The funny guy, the guy who knows everything, the partier, the lush, and the virgin.
It just wouldn't be the same any other way.
Parents are severely disconnected from their child’s life.
You have front row seats to your child's downward spiral because an unknown menace is threatening to kill them. But sure, they're overreacting.
New Line Cinema
Someone just has to wander off and investigate a strange noise.
This will not end well. Like, at all.
This person will also shout “Hello?” or “Is anyone there?” into the darkness, hoping for a response.
This will end even worse. Trust me on this one.
The main character is portrayed as an innocent, do-gooder who doesn’t really seem to fit in with her group of friends.
It's the girl every girl wants to be and every guy wants to be with. DUH.
Compass International Pictures
Yes, “her.” The main character is (almost always) guaranteed to be a female in her late teens or early 20s.
Definitely not a male, nope. No way.
The aforementioned character is also the last one standing. Always.
Sure, she's probably never handled a gun or any other weapon in her life, but a rush of adrenaline can do crazy things!
The “best friend” of the main character is a major partier and isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
And the protagonist will always agree with her BFF and do the stupid thing. Always.
The car won’t start at the same exact time the killer is two feet away.
Thank goodness it starts at the exact same time the killer makes his way to the window. That was a close one.
There also always is no cell reception when someone is trying to make a phone call.
That's technology for ya.
A character can be running away at full speed, and yet the killer will still manage to catch up to them.
Who knew carrying a 20-pound chainsaw would actually make someone run faster?
Speaking of running away, someone will run away and suddenly trip and fall over something…
I mean, there are leaves EVERYWHERE.
…and will then hesitate for a few seconds before getting back up, while looking the villain in the eye.
Probably to get a good look at them before they slaughter you. Probably.
New Line Cinema
Having sex means getting murdered. No questions asked.
And don't even THINK about kissing someone.
And being a virgin means making it through the onslaught.
Sure, all your friends are dead, but you lived. That's kinda cool, right?
While a bullet to the chest would kill a regular human being, it most certainly doesn’t kill the killer.
These guys are unstoppable forces of nature, guys. A measly bullet won't do anything. C'mon now.
It’s deemed a good idea to “split up.”
Because why not?
Something pops up behind someone who’s closing a mirror cabinet.
Why someone would decide to brush their teeth in the midst of a killer taunting them is beyond me.
And last but certainly not least, the protagonist has to say one line right before attempting to kill the villain.
See also: “Welcome to my nightmare!”